The Novel.


Boris Yeltsin: What’s it about?

Arthur Grimestead: Shit and stuff.

BY: Why should I buy it?

AG: I need the money.

BY: Why should I read it?

AG: You might smile. No guarantee like. And no refunds. I’ve already spent the money on Garbage Gang stickers.

BY: Vodka?

AG: Not really.

BY: Where’s it set?

AG:  Kingston upon Hull.

BY: Is that on Google maps?

AG: Yes.

BY: Why Ginger Hairs?

AG: The protagonist. He’s ginger.

BY: That’s a shame.

AG: *shrugs*

BY: And music?

AG: Songs. Ten of them.

BY: Ah, like Phantom of the Opera!

AG: Dunno – does The Phantom have is right hand welded to his cock?

BY: Not in the stage version.

AG: Right. Then nothing like that.

BY: So it’s rude?

AG: Some cunts may disapprove.

BY: Anything else?

AG: No. Thank you, Boris.

BY: Arthur, you’re very welcome.


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