Boris Yeltsin: What’s it about?
Arthur Grimestead: Shit and stuff.
BY: Why should I buy it?
AG: I need the money.
BY: Why should I read it?
AG: You might smile. No guarantee like. And no refunds. I’ve already spent the money on Garbage Gang stickers.
AG: Not really.
BY: Where’s it set?
AG: Kingston upon Hull.
BY: Is that on Google maps?
BY: Why Ginger Hairs?
AG: The protagonist. He’s ginger.
BY: That’s a shame.
BY: And music?
AG: Songs. Ten of them.
BY: Ah, like Phantom of the Opera!
AG: Dunno – does The Phantom have is right hand welded to his cock?
BY: Not in the stage version.
AG: Right. Then nothing like that.
BY: So it’s rude?
AG: Some cunts may disapprove.
BY: Anything else?
AG: No. Thank you, Boris.
BY: Arthur, you’re very welcome.